Chicago reeling in Dave's Wake!!!! |
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Posted Wed May 04, 2005 4:35 pm GMT by mindgame
With thousands clamoring for the results of the Mindgame/DaveB Monumental Monsters of Poker Standoff, I file this breathless report:
Dateline: Canterbury Cardroom, Shakopee, Minnesota, Saturday April 30
Round 1.
Mindgame graciously agrees to give Dave home field advantage and crams himself into a Cessna 172 for 3 1/2 hourrs, battling a 28 knot headwind and snow blown IFR conditions to attend the event. Dave wins the first round with a Bobby Fischer-esque stunt by not showing up at all. Insisting that he remains undaunted by Dave’s failure to appear, Mindgame takes on all comers at the 8/16 tables, going down in flames after 7 hours and winning only 6 hands. Distraught and discouraged Mindgame is seen on the property talking to himself. He appears dazed and confused. He throws himself desperately into hand after hand and hemorrhages money to inferior players. Without exception each of them assures him that Dave B actually functions in the cardroom as a walking, talking, human ATM machine. Any pin will work, they tell him…and the only button says “Withdraw cash from Dave’s Trust Fund.”
Score at the end of 1: Mindgame -578; Dave B 0. Dave suffers deductions from his style points for missing event entirely and a written reprimand will be forthcoming from the international federation.
Dateline: Resorts East Chicago, E.C., Indiana, Tuesday May 3
Round 2.
Dave B. brings his idiosyncratic, iconoclastic “DYNAMIC POKER” style to Chicago. Players at the table, too stunned to speak, try to unscramble “dynamic” to spell “maniac.” Mindgame is in rare form. Starting at separate tables, Mindgame sends Becky “Biggest F*ing Honkers in the Known Universe” Radzakowsky, abundantly-endowed, and eternally-lusted-after cocktail waitress and exotic dancer over to Dave to deliver a cup of coffee and a closer look. Dave marvels at the engineering behind the surgery and the sheer mass of silicon before him…spilling his coffee and losing several hands as he tries to get his eyes to focus and force blood to flow back to his brain.
Defying both logic and the immutable (if rarely enforced) laws of probability, Dave leaves the “must-move” table for the main game with money, unprepared for the fact that he is a lamb among wolves and unaware that Mindgame is the Alpha. After bribes too numerous to mention most dealers concede to Dave that Mindgame is one of the best (“Probably THE best” quote/unquote) player in the casino. Players around him uniformly chime in with agreement…and throw chips at Mindgame by the hundreds to prove the point. Play ends at 1:30 when Dave’s wife calls from Minnesota demanding to know why he’s “not in bed at this hour.” Mindgame fills 3 racks and walks away with a clean 1500. Dave trails meekly behind him to the cage with 11 chips in his sweaty palm...55 bucks.
Score at the end of 2: Mindgame 372, Dave B -500. Onlookers can not resist commenting on how deeply Dave B’s game suffers from his actually showing up and playing it and the word on the street is “don’t quit the day job.”
NOTE:
It should be acknowledged that spending several minutes in intimate proximity to the amazing mammary monument that is Becky Radzakowsky has a retail value very near the $500 lost by Dave in this outing. The international federation is currently considering sanctions against Mindgame for behavior detrimental to the pristine reputation of the game…but they intend to thoroughly investigate the episode and conduct extensive on-site interviews with Ms. Radzakowsky Becky in person. Of particular interest to the federation are claims made by Dave B that her erogenous zones start several feet from her body.
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Posted Wed May 04, 2005 4:50 pm GMT by darthsikle
LOL. Rematch!!!
Posted Wed May 04, 2005 5:04 pm GMT by Iron Butt
Whaa???   Did you guys actually play live?
Posted Wed May 04, 2005 10:11 pm GMT by Dave B
I DEMAND A RECOUNT.
Yes, we played live. Yes, he won, I lost. Upon clearing the mind and taking down my last pot, I actually cashed out about $140 for a loss of under $400.
If it wasnt for the old timer chasing my off my "dynamic" 7  4 w/ his preflop raise w/ a mere JJ on a 1/2 kill pot when the flop came 77x and turn a 4, I may have finished on the plus side too.
In fairness to the salty haggard shadow of his former self, I did lose a big pot to him. 89 for me, flop J 10 9, river 9, he had J 9 for the boat and 3 bet my check raise.
The WORST thing that happened to me all night was winning the 1st 2 kill pots. I became convinced that I was going to win them all and threw too much money at bad cards. Oh well, it was fun.
Regarding round 1 at Canterbury, true, I did not have to show up to secure victory. But some of us do have lives and require more that 12 hours notice to deliver free lessons.
BTW-mindgame always wondered why he struggled online, mystery solved, you should see the fish he swims with at that little poker room of his.
Posted Thu May 05, 2005 11:23 am GMT by mindgame
Well it's a time for brutal honesty and this is the place. This haggard shadow of a fomer self smiles knowingly that every damn one of you will dread the big FIVE-0 and embrace it when he considers the alternative. I my not have the last laugh in that department but Father Time is chuckling because youth and beauty are his righful prey.
It must be conceded that my little corner of the pond swims with little fishies--if it weren't I'd find another corner, the game is tough enough. It should be further noted that some of those little fishies feasted well on pieces of DaveB's sorry poker ass. It's up to me to saddle up and ride back into dodge and take all of it back from them...one chip at a time, as Dave says. He's going to have his hands full with that tag line of his, though. It's a long way to even from 400 down when you get them back one chip at a time. 8)
Posted Thu May 05, 2005 11:34 am GMT by Soup_dog
Now THAT was a funny read. Thanks mindgame, very well written.
Posted Thu May 05, 2005 11:43 am GMT by mindgame
Thanks soup!
I had great fun writing that and now I know Dave B well enough to have a few yucks at his expense. The gauntlet is down and I will brace myself for his blitzkrieg game the next time we meet. I will tell you that he's a tough player who didn't catch much help all night--but he earns some real respect because he never once bitched, whined, complained, or bemoaned his fate. Not once.
Posted Thu May 05, 2005 2:09 pm GMT by Dave B
Well, thank you for the back handed compliment. Since that is the case, I will not mention to everyone here that after 40 years of poker, you thought it was a 50% chance of hitting a flush draw after flopping 4 suited and was in disbelief when I mentioned that it was only 36-37%.
Posted Fri May 06, 2005 12:57 pm GMT by mindgame
I never said it was 50%...I said it was close...meaning in the forty-somethings. I'm working on an explanation for that. Your off the cuff calculation was flawed (deeply). I'll do the math. But you're right...it will be closer to 40% than 50%. The only point I was trying to make was that you should hit that flush near half the time (2 out of 5, anyway) and I've been hitting them like once out of 10. It's been making me nuts.
And not to put too fine a point on it...a backhanded compliment is better than none. :D
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