How do you play online poker? |
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Posted Wed Nov 22, 2006 2:15 pm GMT by MilkyPirate
So I was lying in the middle of the street (trying to spark a protest which will lead to a Cultural Revolution that will overthrow the government) when I thought to myself "How do I play online poker?:
By this I mean, "How?" and "Do?" and the question is posed to "You" about online poker.
OK this intro was a little skectchy but whatever.
Like for me, when I play I like to sit in a chair normally, lean back from time to time and chat with friends online.
I don't play when I have to take a crap, but when I do (and I'm in the middle of a big tourney) I take my laptop into the bathroom so that I don't miss any hands.
I like to drink Tim Hortons Ice Caps when I play because they fuel my poker cells and contribute to my luck (I don't seriously believe this...but statistics show that I play better with Ice Caps flowing through my veins than normal human blood).
When I get in a big hand, I put my face right up against the screen so that my cards look bigger and I will become more focused on the action. When I am not in a hand, I like to stretch out a bit and smack myself to stay focused...if I havn't played a hand in over an hour I like to make up songs to the tune of "What is it good for! Absolutely nothing!" on how I can't get a hand ("95 offsuit! What is it good for! Absolutely nothing! Sing it again! WHAAAAAA!")
I try to refrain from sticking my hands down my pants while playing...not cause I'd lose focus on poker, but because whenever I do that I get dealt shit or get unlucky.
I never dance when I play online poker.
I've never thrown my computer at stuff after a bad beat because I know bad beats happen and are a part of poker (and the hours spent playing poker have deteriorated my muscles to the point where I can't lift my computer).
I am always in a good mood when I play online poker...but never "super happy" cause that'd just be weird.
Anyways, while a lot of this post was a big joke (I have muscles that can lift shit...seriously dude)...a lot of it does relate to some things I do while I play online poker or things I've experienced while playing online poker.
So, my question to you is "How do you play online poker?"
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Posted Wed Nov 22, 2006 2:25 pm GMT by Dave B
Al Bundy style.
Posted Wed Nov 22, 2006 4:09 pm GMT by Gogie
TMI  but funny just the same.
Posted Wed Nov 22, 2006 5:28 pm GMT by swiftone
LOL funniest poker related post ever. Up until recently I played exclusively on my laptop which afforded me infinite portability. However that all changed when I got a 20 inch LCD monitor  I like listening to music then bouncing up and down to the beat when Ive put out a big bet and waiting to see how the table reacts. I guess thats it, im not nearly as exciting as you.
Posted Wed Nov 22, 2006 8:53 pm GMT by lwestatbus
| swiftone wrote: | | I like listening to music then bouncing up and down to the beat when Ive put out a big bet and waiting to see how the table reacts. |
You'll want to work on that if you play live games. It might be a tell.
Posted Fri Nov 24, 2006 2:21 pm GMT by J279
I like to combine the pastime of online poker with the drinking of Guinness. I know everybody says "don't drink alcohol" when you play but I just can't help it!!!!!!
Great post btw
Posted Fri Nov 24, 2006 4:32 pm GMT by khaosanroad
| J279 wrote: | I like to combine the pastime of online poker with the drinking of Guinness. I know everybody says "don't drink alcohol" when you play but I just can't help it!!!!!!
Great post btw |
it's #2 on the list of things not to do when drinking.
#1 Don't drink and pickup girls at the bar.
#2 DOn't drink and play poker
#3 Don't drink and drive.
Posted Mon Nov 27, 2006 12:29 pm GMT by BeerWench13
| J279 wrote: | | I like to combine the pastime of online poker with the drinking of Guinness. I know everybody says "don't drink alcohol" when you play but I just can't help it!!!!!! |
A man after my own heart. However, if Guinness is not available, I'm open to wine, Sam Adams, Patron, Jack Daniels, etc.
The original post is pretty funny. It all depends for me. If I'm home alone... well, I'll not go there. Just kidding. If I have the office to myself, I'm in the captain's chair with my feet propped on the other chair, frosty libation on a coaster beside me, itunes or tv on (depending on how much I've had to drink) and a book in front of me in case I get bored.
If the hubby's on the other computer, I'm sitting in my chair, frosty libation on a coaster next to me and itunes or tv on depending on his preference. When I'm not in a hand, I'm watching him play on the other computer or joking around with him if he's not in a hand.
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